Reports say three blasts were coordinated, taking place within several minutes of each other
Yeah but I bet all the friends and families of those Iraqis are all looking at each other and going "Yeah but Saddam is still dead so yay America!"
I wonder if Bush, Rummy and the people that voted them in for a second helping of Bomb and Bomber II: When Bad met Worse realize just how fucking murderous their incompetence and arrogance was.
And that is a big Godzilla sized if.
They would ever be inclined to put it on their list of bad things they did before Carson Daly told them about Karma and try and make good for it?
The tragedy is there is nothing anyone can do. You can't invade Iraq again, you can't pour in more troops, they can't stop a suicide bomber from going off in public, it's hard enough to stop them going off in a Marine's face.
Blast shields are great but they don't stop suicide bombers unless you're prepared to encase every Iraqi in their own cement burkas.
America I suspect is simply going to get used to the idea that every once in awhile you'll hear about someone's kid getting his limb IEDed off or a mass bombing like above and there will be much tsking and hmm-hmmming, a sad thing but it's sad when someone gets run over too, doesn't mean you stop crossing the street.
And while Teabaggers are howling with rage over the proposed use of tax-dollars to help their fellow citizens stay healthy and prosperous:
In its largest reconstruction effort since the Marshall Plan, the U.S. government has spent $53 billion for relief and reconstruction in Iraq since the 2003 invasion, building hospitals, water treatment plants, electricity substations, schools and bridges.
Since Obama's had a year now to end this nonsense but hasn't I can only come to one conclusion; America you are retarded and Sarah Palin is your queen.
One of the side effects of my babblings here is that I've really developed a contempt for theism in general. See I used to share the collective unconscious idea that there are two kinds of theism, the respectable sort where you have Joe Average going to some sort of mainstream worship service once in awhile, believing in it in a sort of vague kind of way.
That's at one end of the spectrum and at the other far end you'd have crazies like David Koresh, the Phelps Clan and Mel Gibson's father. Those are the ones that the mainstream theists can point at and say "Wow, those are some crazy motherfuckers!" as they go and pray to their own god who isn't so obsessed with end of days, end of gays or latin prays.
But, it's all the same thing isn't it? You can't say one set of god-worshipers is a pack of nutty goofs and another are sensible sorts when they're all believe essentially the same thing.
Case in point I got into an augment with a friend of a friend about how your mainstream Catholics are no more or less stupid / crazy / delusional than any given Scientologist as they both believe in two impossible things. In the case of Catholicism the whole bits of cracker tuning into dead Jew in their tummy after a few magic words vs. dead alien ghosts haunting mankind.
Both are deeply held beliefs that defy reason in every way.
So are Catholics less crazy than Sociologists? Well I'm sure most people would agree and that's what the friend's friend was saying but my point was that insanity is insanity, it doesn't matter how its expressed or by how many people.
So with that in mind check this out,it's an article rationally explaining how chipping your pet so it can be found if lost is really part of Satan's scheme:
(If you don’t believe it, get a bar code and look at it!)
Something else has mysterious appeared.
In the last few years, some UPC codes have appeared with additional
boxes underneath the bar code.
Beside the boxes are 2 letters, the letter F and the letter H
Could they stand for forehead or hand? As described in the prophecy of the Mark of the Beast?
So when you want to call someone a Conspiracy Theorist, remember you are now, every day, using the same RFID Chip technology as the Mark of the Beast!
OK, folks, have you now received your fill of religious and technological prophecy regarding Mark of the Beast in your dogs, cats, pets, and animals? Well let’s continue educating yourself on RFID chips in animals and humans, as well.
Now if I were to print out this article and read it to a collection of priests and other professional Christian god-bothers I'm sure the majority would roll their eyes, shake their heads smiling sadly and otherwise agree that the idea of Satan using RFID chip technology to both find lost pets and usurp their god's creation would be laughable.
This of course is a rather strawman point but a fair one I think.
But on what grounds could the godsters reject the article's point? If I were to ask them about the more fantastic and unlikely aspects of their religion that are accepted by the mainstream suddenly the skepticism would melt away under the white hot heat of the certainty that their bits of insanity are sensible and true.
It's binary is my point, you can't selectively believe in myth and magic. If you believe in Christian gods and demons than you have to at least entertain the idea that Satan is working with various humane societies around the world to achieve his goal of world domination and that you should never chip your pet because one day he will be an agent of Satan!
Except for cats, they don't need Satan's direction, they've been plotting our downfall since Egypt. You don't go from being a god to being a pet / emergency food source without a fight.
Hate the crappy controller in comparison to the Xbox 360 model? Then you're like me (poor bastard) and you want to get one of these:
I had to order it all the way from Hong Kong, I asked about it locally and it turns out no one carried them. My local EB manager told me he gets calls for such a device once a week but they don't carry them.
"Why?" I asked.
He shrugged.
"Could it be that Sony pressures EB not to sell them because they are a tacit admission that the PS3 controllers suck dead donkey ass?"
He nodded "Could be, that would actually explain it because we'd sell tons of them."
I could live with the original control until this bastard of a bastard's bastard came along:
This is easily the most difficult RPG ever made, it offers you no breaks, no assistance and no mercy. My hands cramp just thinking about plowing through it with the PS3 controller.
If you're a masochist with more time than brain cells I can't recommend this game enough, for the hard of core only but do yourself a favor and get the XCM first so your hands don't become gnarled claws.
Wait a second... that doesn't make any sense but it's theists and theism so the lack of sense is logical:
Natural selection happens but it does not do what Darwin needed it to do," said geneticist Dr. John Sanford. "Darwin built a worldview that has come to be the governing paradigm of the intellectual community; that worldview is now collapsing in the face of new advances in science."
Sanford was among a number of scientists who spoke at the "Darwin Was Wrong" conference at Calvary Chapel Costa Mesa, Nov. 13-14. The two-day event, organized by Logos Research Associates, Inc., was held to mark the 150th anniversary of Darwin's Origin of Species, which people around the world have been celebrating this year.
"It is amazing to me that in this ‘year of Darwin,’ the whole world is bowing down to this man even while modern science is proving him wrong on all fronts," said Sanford.
Well! If Darwin and all the hundreds of thousands of scientists who continued his work, were wrong then gosh and golly who is right?!!?
In addition to shooting down evolutionary arguments, Carter offered a "replacement" on the origin of man, using the Bible. The Bible records three historical biblical “main events” that would have left an indelible mark on our genetic makeup: Creation, the Flood, and the Tower of Babel. Research in modern genetics underlines the reality of these events, he offered.
Ah, well there you go! Once again it was all the work of a sky god, when will science learn it's all magic?
That Babel thing is new, I had no idea that language was found in the genetic makeup. How strange that the Black dude I hang out with can't speak a word of anything African and gets annoyed when I ask him to speak in that clickly clackey way they do, that I can't speak a word of Hebrew and GW Bush can barely handle English.
Once again, we must respect and give tax breaks to religion because it's a very serious thing.
At the time, the government denied there were any credible allegations of torture.
Yeah, they were lying, another shocker.
Once again the West has decided to back the bastards they helped install rather than actually doing the right and harder thing of stopping them from being bastards.
But they'll go on torturing despite the fact that no war has ever been won because one side tortured better than the other.
I don't want to give up on Afghanistan but at the same time I find it hard to ask a soldier to fight for what is in all likelihood a lost battle.
The Americans don't even give a shit about Iraq anymore what chance does Afghanistan have?
The media for "badgering her with questions" like WFT reporters don't you have something better to do?
She of course is the victim but gosh darn it and you betchya she's going to be like Jesus; rise above it all and shoot them down like the wolves they are.
It would be hysterical if this dull blade hacked the GOP in half leaving two conservative parties in America; one stupid and crazy and one stupider and crazier.
How could the Democrats loose? Well I'm sure they'd figure out a way.
if we had a Woody Boyd for president, I would sleep soundly
One of the more intersting facets of wingnuts is their absolute hatred of anyone or thing smarter than they are, see the comments section for examples and Sarah Palin is their queen.
Speaking of Palin they really are the family values crowd, perhaps Levi can hook up with Prejean and they can do a porno called "Lovin' Jesus Hatin' Fags".
A 22-year veteran kindergarten teacher in the Texas Bible Belt could lose her job for refusing, on religious grounds, to give fingerprints under a state law requiring them.
I know, I know there are millions of Christians who would take umbrage with my snark because they don't think that fingerprinting and microchips are the devil's works... they just think a bunch of other stuff is the devil's work so they're faaaaarr more sensible.
Jonesborough resident Jim Stevens admits he’s not a particularly religious person, but even he is awed by what he has seen nearly every morning for the last couple of weeks on the driver’s side window of his Isuzu pickup truck.
Having studied these Jesus sightings for a few years now I see this one as being a bit too perfect to be a random natural phenomenon Rorschach blotter like the others. Note how Jesus is pretty centered in the window? The whole thing smacks of a stencil of some sort.
There are two logical explanations; either he's made the image for whatever sad and twisted reason or someone is pulling a pretty funny joke.
The third explanation is that a universe creating deity is using his awesome powers to appear, looking nothing like a 2,000 year old Middle Eastern Jew, on a window in a truck. A rather useless waste of time and power.
Since that makes no sense we can safely dismiss it and go back to the first two.
And speaking of piss-artists and Jesus:
Larry David joined the ranks of the rank this week when he whizzed on an image of Jesus Christ on his unfunny HBO show. I think this one will come back to bite you, LD.
This season of Curb has just be awesome, each episode funnier than the last, this week's in particular but the pee on Jesus thing had me loling my a off. I knew that the theists, particularly Catholics, would throw the shittiest of fits and they did not disappoint.
Hey guys? Um, Larry didn't actually pee on your god, it's a TV show and so it's not, y'know, real? Then again reality and theism, they get along like the Jackson Family reading Michael's will.
But here's the thing, Larry is a Jew and an atheist so Jesus is going to have him tortured for ever and ever already, so LD's ass is already totally bitten. His next show could be called "Poop on your Jesus" and his fate, as far as the Christers are concerned, is quite fixed.
More of Larry's wisdom / reason why Jesus is going to hurt him:
"And at the same time it could be any other group which operates in the country, including some of the diehard Saddam Hussein supporters who may have engaged. There are a number of desperate groups in Iraq."
But everyone! Everyone! Listen to Dick Cheney, he's a fucking war genius, remember how he told us that how invading Iraq was going to make Iraq a better place and that the insurgency was beat? And oh all those WMD Saddam had? Nukes? Bioweapons? HE WAS GONNA KILLS US ALL!!
Sure Dick was wrong about everying but that's why you should listen to him now, he's totally due! Busted clock city!
Plus it's not like Obama is doing much of anything about Iraq or Afghanistan. At least Dick is trying.
Glasgow's branch of Ikea in Braehead is proving to have an unusual attraction, after a member of the public spotted an unusual face-like pattern in the grain of the wood in a door in the store's gents' toilet.
Hanging out in a Scottish bog? How trainspotting.
Meanwhile in America:
One West Palm Beach couple said they found hope on the seat of a weather-beaten chair outside their home.
The couple said rain and sun battered the image of Jesus into the seat of the chair.
They said they discovered the image while pondering their job losses, and finances.
They said its a message to stay strong and keep praying.
Really? That's how your god talks to you? Stains? Y'know when I contemplate my job losses and finances I find getting a new job and adjusting my budget accordingly is a tad more effective than begging sky beings to help my ass out.
It's a family tradition, appearing in odd places:
MERCED, Calif. — Nobody can say why the Virgin of Guadalupe would appear on a hunk of rock formed millions of years before the birth of Jesus.
But David Nunez says the image is unmistakable — a bluish-black stain on the football-sized rock outlines what looks like the Holy Mother.
Why don't these gods ever make actual appearances? Like on Larry King or a Leno walk-on? Why only in silly places with such ambiguity? It's almost like they want just enough believers to foster conflict amongst humans like some sort of cosmic reality show, that they feed on drama and conflict.
Or they're just not there and people are really very stupid.
I got clients driving me mad, family medical issues, I'm producing an amateur comedy night and have become totally obsessed with drumming. So much so that I've pretty much destroyed the Rock Band 2 drum kit, busted three cymbals and the padding is starting to come off on of the "toms". I'm not sure if this is a quality issue, I beat the living crap out of them. The cool thing is that I started on "easy" and can now do many songs on "hard" and some of the easier ones on "expert". My learning curve has been surprising, on the guitar I never came close to leaving the "medium" skill setting.
So I've decided that yeah, I need to learn how to play the drums so I've taken the next step and ordered one of these.
If I still like playing then phase 3: a real drum kit and lessons.
In the meantime please enjoy this, as wacky as the Christers are, Islamaniacs put 'em to shame:
NEW ORLEANS – A Louisiana justice of the peace said he refused to issue a marriage license to an interracial couple out of concern for any children the couple might have. Keith Bardwell, justice of the peace in Tangipahoa Parish, says it is his experience that most interracial marriages do not last long.
"I'm not a racist. I just don't believe in mixing the races that way," Bardwell told the Associated Press on Thursday. "I have piles and piles of black friends. They come to my home, I marry them, they use my bathroom. I treat them just like everyone else."
Bardwell said he asks everyone who calls about marriage if they are a mixed race couple. If they are, he does not marry them, he said.
Bardwell said he has discussed the topic with blacks and whites, along with witnessing some interracial marriages. He came to the conclusion that most of black society does not readily accept offspring of such relationships, and neither does white society, he said.
I'm not a racist! I have plenty of black friends! Everyone is racist!
The trifecta of classic racist assholery topped off with this cherry turd:
"I've been a justice of the peace for 34 years and I don't think I've mistreated anybody," Bardwell said. "I've made some mistakes, but you have too. I didn't tell this couple they couldn't get married. I just told them I wouldn't do it."
I guess Justice Dipshit didn't notice that his President of his United States is the result of a so-called "mixed marriage", kinda puts his whole "society don't like half-breeds around these parts" bullshit into question.
Shrinking congregations and spiralling costs have fuelled the decline of the traditional church. Two more churches will close next year, when Sainte-Anne on St. Patrick Street, Saint-Charles on Beechwood and Marie-Médiatrice on Cyr Avenue, merge into one.
Hey, it's just like when crappy MMORPG have to merge servers because the players realize that it's boring and pointless.
During the past two years, about 20 churches of various denominations have closed or have been slated to close in Ottawa-Gatineau. Among the prominent ones are the St. James Anglican Church in the Hull neighbourhood of Gatineau, the first Protestant church in the Ottawa Valley. It closed in 2006. Now the 100-year-old church, which closed because its congregation had shrunk to a handful of parishioners, is being coveted by a Gatineau businessman who wants to convert it into a brewery.
And I too want him to convert it into a brewery, a far more practical way to use the space.
And it's not just local:
In a British report published two years ago, an independent organization called Christian Research said thousands of churches are closing for lack of practising Christians. It said more churches are closing than opening. In a warning to church leaders, it predicted that by 2040, 18,000 churches in England will close.
Good. Considering the Church of England was founded by a lunatic bastard of a king I see no great loss.
Closer to home, experts say Quebec -- where the Catholic Church once called the shots in public and private life -- stands to lose about half of its 2,000 churches by 2016.
Ah yes, when the church ran Quebec, such lovely times, pity those days are over.
He notes that not everyone thinks churches respond to their needs or sensitivities. "The big issue is, How much creativity can we bring in to become more relevant for people?"
I love it when churchers talk like marketers, it really puts it into perspective; they're hawking a product.
The numbers show that Canadians have been fleeing the church for decades. In the mid-'40s, about 67 per cent of adult Canadians attended church weekly. By 1985, the number had plunged to 30 per cent. In 2005, the number hit 20 per cent. In 2006, a Canwest News Service poll found that 17 per cent of Canadians attend church at least once a week, even though about half of those surveyed said they believe in God.
But not enough to bother him about it, I can live with that.
I'm not so optimistic that we'll see religion die a complete death in my lifetime but I like to think the last forty years have been the beginning of the end.
Sen. John McCain says any added military deployment in Afghanistan smaller than the 40,000 troops "would be an error of historic proportions." Appearing on CNN's "State of the Union," McCain pointed to the success of the troop "surge" in Iraq and said "our allies in the region are beginning to get the impression that perhaps we are wavering" on Afghanistan.
An error of historic proportions? Involving Iraq?!? Oh we can't have that!
And we won't! Just look at all this success! The surge really shut the terrorists down, why they hardly ever attack anymore, only like every day of the week:
A series of apparently coordinated bombings aimed at a meeting for national reconciliati on killed 23 people and wounded 65 others in western Iraq on Sunday, but they did not injure the officials who were at the gathering, the authorities said.
The archbishop said this Sunday in response to the kidnapping of Imad Elias Abdul Karim, a 55-year-old Christian nurse who went missing Saturday in Kirkuk.
AsiaNews.it reported that the police found him dead Sunday night, and noted that the body had "obvious signs of torture."
The U.S. military on Tuesday handed over the last of its bases outside Samarra, a city billed as a reconciliation success story. Worries linger though that wartime remedies like barriers and checkpoints will encourage divisions and undermine hard-won security gains.
Nowhere is the split more apparent than in the half-mile passageway of blast walls leading to Samarra's famed Shiite Askariya shrine, once a flash point for sectarian slaughter. On one side of the walls are struggling Sunni shopkeepers. On the other are their traditional customers, Shiite pilgrims who for decades provided a steady stream of income for local merchants.
So yes, listen to President McCain, he has been consistently right about Iraq all the way from the first bomb hit to the endless "Thank You America!" parades (that I never actually saw but I'm sure happened) it's been nothing but success after success ever since.
A success that Obama seems keen on continuing I might add, guess change was only a domestic policy.
Clinton's spunk, Michael Moore is fat and other topical references are abound but if you read it all you'll see many of them don't really understand how the joke works, they just say... stuff...
It would be a bit like buying a new car and finding out that it still has a part of the crank assembly in the front from the "Model T" days. You bring it back to the dealership and they say "Hey, it doesn't stop you from driving it so we're not going to take the time and hassle to remove it because there's no need."
Evolution is a lazy 'tard that way.
I'm reading Dawkin's latest "The Greatest Show on Earth" and it's not bad but it doesn't really say anything new, at least not so far. It mentions some of the latest developments in the field and Dawkins takes a few dry British shots at Creationists (whom he now irritatingly calls "history-deniers", Creationist is insulting enough) and has some interesting angles and metaphors for explaining some of evolutions more mechanical details. I particularly liked the swallows analogy for how all the bits and pieces work separately to come together.
In the book Dawkins also continues to lament how theists are subverting science at every turn or at least trying to. I'm not sure how that squares with the steady decline of religion and how every breakthrough in evolution is front page news but I don't have Dawkin's point of view on the issue. Maybe one of those forest tree deals.
Obviously, getting this order by random chance is unlikely. How unlikely? The chance that a single, simple molecule can come together by chance in its proper order is one chance in a number so big there is no name for it. It is the numeral one with 950 zeros behind it. Scientists have agreed that anything with one and 50 zeros behind it is mathematically and scientifically impossible. Those who believe in evolution have chosen to believe in something that, according to their own laws, is impossible.
I always get a kick out of theist using science to disprove science as if somehow it never occurred to science to do so. This whole "The math proves my god is real!" shtick is classic. Never mind that evolution explains why chance has nothing to do with it or that their god is so insane that it's even more unlikely to be real.
The truth is that God created this world. Our world could be created only by design because random chance is impossible.
And then we go back up to the list of "crank shaft leftovers" kicking around and the question begs to be asked; "Design? Where?"
Evolution is a theory by a man who refused to believe in God.
And that is actually a lie, Darwin believed in your silly god until he actually looked around the world and gave it some thought. So he was obviously open minded about it so no, no refusal.
Today the lie behind evolution continues to be spread as if it is unquestioned truth.
Nope, evolution is questioned all the time, by the very scientist that accept it. They would be delighted to disprove it or any part of it, that's the sort of immortality they crave. If Darwin's theories could be put down a scientist would have done it by now, guaranteed.
It is amazing to me that true scientists defy their own laws by being unwilling to consider the possibility of an answer other than evolution.
Really? What if they thought it was Zeus who did it? Or Allah? Or the Mormon's god? Or the Jewish god? Why not a Native American deity? But I suspect it's only your answer that is the right one, what are the odds of that?
The truth is that there are much more scientific facts to support creation by design rather than by random chance.
Nah, not even close to being true. Are all Reverends such liars?
The Genesis account of Adam and Eve tells us that we are all related. Acts 17:26 says, “And he has made from one blood every nation of men to dwell on all the face of the earth.”
Yeah, it also says the Moon is a light, the Earth was made in a few days and many other stupid things, not too accurate your Genesis is.
Nearly 15 years ago scientists finally unraveled the DNA genetic code for man. It was so complex it took years to figure out. When the code was unraveled, it was found that each person has a unique DNA code assigned to him alone. Many crimes are solved today because we can trace DNA to a specific individual. One thing that was discovered along with man’s DNA code is that all the DNA codes originally came from one code or one individual. This information clearly agrees with what we read in Acts 17:26, that we all came from one blood.
Of course the important thing here is that science, y'know, proves it? Shall we talk about all the things that Genesis got wrong? Where it is direct contradiction with science? Isn't it interesting that when your Bible and science agree science is right but when science and your faith part ways, like evolution, it's a lie? What are the odds of that I wonder?
Our world is designed by God for our habitation. Isaiah 45:18 tells us, “For thus says the Lord, Who created the heavens, Who is God, Who formed the earth and made it, Who has established it, Who did not create it in vain, Who formed it to be inhabited: ‘I am the Lord, and there is no other.’ ”
Uh, not it's not, not unless you have gills and a taste for saltwater or have you noticed that we're actually limited in the places where we can live? We don't live in areas like tundra, desert and other inhospitable environments. Again gods are lousy designers, it's like buying a house but you can only live in three or four rooms comfortably, the rest are either unhealthy or they'll outright kill you. In fact if this planet was made for life it was made for bacteria and parasites, they're the only species that can live in every nook and cranny.
The Earth is 93 million miles from the sun, which just happens to be the perfect distance. If it were 92 million, it would be too hot for life to exist. If it were 94 million, it would be too cold for life to exist. Was that by chance? I doubt it.
One of the things science has discovered is that creatures can live in some pretty inhospitable places, from sulfur lakes to the crushing depths of the ocean life finds a way, so no, we can't say that if we were closer or further from the sun there wouldn't be any life. It could be in a different form perhaps but none? Not very likely.
But that doesn't matter because the "odds" argument is facile right from the start. A livable planet is like winning a lottery, if you won it would you give the money back saying "Oh, no, the odds are too long so obviously I couldn't have won!"?
He babbles on like that for a bit then:
Why is evolution pushed by so many if it is so weak?
Because it's not "weak". The evidence for evolution is overwhelming, from the physical fossil record to DNA, to biology it's real and it's proven beyond any doubt.
If a lie is repeated enough, people will believe it.
Not in science, lies are ferreted out by scientist in their never ending quest to one-up and out-publish each other. An engine driven by ego that has produced real miracles. If evolution were a lie it would have been debunked decades ago instead as the years go on more and more evidence is revealed.
Today the myth of evolution is so well ingrained in science and education that few are willing to buck the trend, regardless of the facts.
Facts like... what? So far the only fact presented is that the odds of life just happening are very long, that doesn't disprove all of the evidence for evolution in any way.
And of course gods are not facts, quite the opposite.
When someone says, “I know that evolution is a fact,” he makes himself out to be a fool. Romans 1:22 says, “Professing to be wise, they became fools.”
Oh snap! Bible burn! No coming back from that!
These people have rejected all the evidence that so clearly points to intelligent design. Believing in evolution takes far more faith than believing in creation by God.
Lame Creationist boiler-plate. If you want inteligent design I suggest you buy an iPod because there isn't any in nature.
As the evidence for intelligent design mounts and the evidence for evolution falters, each of us must make a decision. Whom will we listen to? Who is speaking the truth?
Well since there isn't any evidence for intelligent design and there is tons of evidence for evolution (even a couple of breakthroughs this summer alone) I don't think anyone should listen to you because you are obviously a stupid liar.
That is you may be so stupid in that you don't know you're lying or you may be such a stupid liar you don't realize how obvious and self-serving your lies are. In either case no one should listen to you.
Wingnut rage power activate! Form of all the past winners who are bad! Forget all about this!
UPDATE:
So I posted this at 5:43am ran off to take care of some business and now I'm back in salvage FortressCave of Solitude that orbits the Earth three miles beneath it's surface and I think, which wingnut will step up and fulfill my prophecy?
Oh and of course the Jewish women of Israel are chattel and as such their opinion is not required or requested in the matter of family. They will do as they are told, their wombs exist for the creation of the Master Race Chosen People not mongrel making.
One thing that really bugs me about theists and shows how arrogant they are in their delusions is shit like this:
I can really relate to this story, for two reasons that some of you may not be aware of: First, in late 2006, I had 3 strokes. Like B*, I know that Jesus not only saved me, but also helped me to recover.
No you silly little twit, medical science saved and recovered your ungrateful ass:
The authors conclude that advances in care over the past 50 years have reduced the prevalence of most risk factors for stroke and lowered its incidence
Incidence of stroke
Does she really think that Jesus is floating above her, helping her out and ignoring all the people who do get crippled or killed by strokes? Why? Because she says the right magic words at the right time to earn Jesus' favor?
There are Muslims, Jews, Mormons and atheists who recover from strokes, I guess they just got lucky.
Perhaps a theist would say "Jesus allowed medical science to find ways to detect, prevent and treat strokes!" and that would make me wonder why Jesus didn't do it y'know 2,000 years ago.
Guess he was too busy chasing demons.
The more I think about it the more I want to start a religion based on the worship of science but in the Ancient Roman sense. They had this thing where they would worship the emperor's "genius" that is the metaphysical quality that made him such a clever bastard and thus a great leader. The worshipers could actually enjoy the fruits of their "god's" labor so their show of appreciation was at least rooted in reality. They never claimed the emperor to be a god but to have god-like qualities.
Like being really good at killing a whole lot of people.
So if you plan on living a longer happier life than every generation before us take a moment and respectfully thank all the nerds that made it possible by leaving an offering of Star Trek Blu-rays at the steps of you nearest univeristy science facility.
Make more sense than thanking Jesus.
B is a Christian rapper, I did not click through, I do not recommend you do and I will not be held liable if you do so.
So y'know how Christians are always going on about how great Jesus was, how he did all these amazing things and so you should kiss his ass until your lips are chapped and flaking?
But was Jesus really such hot shit? You tell me as I compare Jesus alleged "miracles" with Science's proven ones.
Jesus: Born of a virgin.
Science: In vitro fertilization.
Judgment: Well this one is a tie but barely, in Jesus' case the woman needs to be picked by a god for sexless procreation (odd that god invented sex but seems disgusted by the whole thing, it's almost like he went out with me or something) whereas any woman can now have a bun syringed into her oven no penis needed.
SCORE: 0 to 0
Jesus: Cured a few lepers, relatives of friends of his, the occasional handicapped person he’d come across and one dude’s possible boyfriend. A little over a dozen people total.
Science: Cured Chicken Pox, Smallpox, Diphtheria, Invasive H. Flu, Malaria, Measles, Pertussis Pneumococcal Disease, Tetanus, Typhoid Fever, Yellow Fever and Polio for starters for countless billions of human beings born in the last 100 years and those yet to be born to future generations
Judgment: Not even close, Science kicks Jesus's ass up and down the field. Jesus didn't cure one disease he only relived the symptoms of a chosen few.
What a dick.
SCORE: 0 to 1 for Science
Jesus: Exercised demons
Science: Has identified and treated countless mental illnesses and as a result has done away with the harsh barbaric treatment that the mentally ill received in the old days in part because people thought they were possessed by demons.
Judgment: A bit of a tough call as Jesus scores points for the whole exorcism deal being pretty cool with the projectile vomiting, head spinning and yo' mama is so damned stuff but in the end Science gets the point for actually helping people.
SCORE: 0 to 2 for Science
Jesus: Fed a whole wedding party of thousands with just a few loaves of bread and fish.
Science: Through bio-engineering has created crops that feed more people than ever before. If the political will were strong enough no one would ever go hungry on this planet. We have so much food we have to keep up thinking up new ways to waste it.
Judgment: A Jew being a great caterer? Some miracle, I bet he got the loaves and fish wholesale too. Once again Jesus loses out because he thinks small. Jesus feeds some people at a party Science feeds the world.
SCORE: 0 to 3 for Science
Jesus: Killed a fig tree by just swearing at it.
Science: Just try and find a plant that Science can’t kill.
Judgment: One tree? Wow. Vietnam is still suffering from the effects of Agent Orange. If there's one thing science excels at it's kill stuff that people don't want growing on their lawns.
SCORE: 0 to 4 for Science
Jesus: Turning water into wine
Science: Turning water into a bazillion different kind of drinks.
Judgment: If its organic Science has fermented it and fed it to frat boys in the Seagram’s testing grounds and once again it's provided to the world not just those lucky few who got to hang out with Jesus.
SCORE: 0 to 5 for Science
Jesus: Walking on water
Science: Walking on The Moon
Judgment: While walking on water is pretty cool of what actual use is it? So Jesus doesn't need a boat or a bridge, big whoop.
SCORE: 0 to 6 for Science
Jesus: Showed his disciples how to catch a lot of fish
Science: Sonar lets us catch ALL the fish.
Judgment: Remember how when they first found the Grand Banks off of the East Coast how they said there was enough fish till the end of time? HA! Science will find and eat every fish in the ocean.
SCORE: 0 to 7 for Science
Jesus: Coming back from the dead / raising some guy from the dead
Science: People are brought back from the dead all the time on operating tables, heck some operations stop the heart for a time. Not to mention increasing the life span of the average human by double since the time of Jesus
Judgment: So Jesus comes back from the dead and that is pretty impressive I have to admit but once again JC looses out for thinking small. He pulls that miracle once for a friend of a friend and then again for himself leaving the rest to die.
SCORE: 0 to 8 for Science
Well there you have it, Jesus ass kicked harder than Green Bay last week* by science.
So next time you're thinking about worshiping a higher power why not give some real thought about which one has actually done something for you in the here and now rather than the Wimpy style of your Christian religions "I'll gladly miracle you 2,000 years ago for unthinking devotion today."
And now Thomas Dolby:
* Thanks to that game the majority of the people in my football survivor pool were whacked. If Denver makes it a hat-trick this Sunday I'm laughing.
